Carole doesn't want to see me in the lab tomorrow

and that's probably a very good thing. I think it's been about a month since I've had my last free day. So tomorrow, Tuesday, is going to be the first Sunday in a while. There's no uni for me either, since I did my urology bed-side teaching during the semester break. Just about two hours of lectures that I have to attend. Now what am I going to do?

I should read more papers.
I should start studying for the exams in two months.
I should finally write my semester report.
I should prepare for this week's house club.

I also need to give my apartment a spring cleaning.
I also need to do laundry.
I also need to buy groceries.

I still don't know what to do.

Sue the bastards!

I'm starting to wonder what my malpractice insurance is worth without any legal expenses insurance. What if I do, say, take bad aim on a lumbar puncture and skewer the poor guy's aorta, kidney and spleen in one swift shish-kebab? Who is going to win my case then? Who is going to make the big company pay because they didn't put "do not use for kidney biopsies" on the package of the cannula?

Problem is .. they probably did put that on there.

May contain peanuts.

You have to love Americans.

I don't care if you think you hate them. You do have to love them.

For example. Even if you hate kids, you can't help but love them because they are so charmingly, disarmingly, naively stupid. Like the pull-on-the-cable-of-the-telephone-until-it-falls-on-your-head kind of stupid.

I was served a plastic bag of peanuts on my last flight into the States. Big yellow letters and a very unmistakable photo on the front side left little to the imagination of what I was going to find inside. Peanuts. You know this thing was made in the US of A when you turn the package around.

May contain traces of peanuts.

What can I say. That's pretty much my definition of charmingly, disarmingly, naively stupid. And from what I heard, these "warnings" are usually there because somebody at some point was able to sue. "There was no way of knowing that there were peanuts in there that could cause my allergic reaction." Like when McDonalds fails to tell you that you shouldn't spill hot coffee in your lap since that may hurt. Or when car manufactures fail to tell drivers that the so-called "auto-pilot" that is actually a cruise control shouldn't lead to drivers taking a nap at the wheel.

It's things like these that give Americans the Kindchenschema.

Do you seek to enter the United States to engage in export control violations, subversive or terrorist activities, or any other unlawful purpose? Are you a member or representative of a terrorist organization as currently designated by the U.S. Secretary of State? Have you ever participated in persecutions directed by the Nazi government of Germany; or have you ever participated in genocide?

You get to check "yes" or "no" to this question in your visa application. I wonder why that is. Why don't they just write in the same plain words that you cannot be a terrorist if you want to enter the US of A. Why do you actually have to answer the question? Did any terrorist ever fall for this?

I would really like to know who that was. And if he/she ever got convicted, given he/she's probably too stupid to distinguish a real gun from a waterpistol.

The US embassy is printing money ..

.. 80 euros just to apply and a total of about 60 euros just for calling to set up the appointment - the embassy might as well be printing money instead of visas.

And of the three of us that went there to apply, two received their passports two days later in the mail. I kid you not. We went there on Wednesday and they proudly found their visas in the mail on Friday. Guess who did not. Yours truly. More than two weeks later I dared to call them and was quickly disposed of with a "it takes three to four weeks normally" and an "We couldn't look it up even if we wanted to". Was it because I had been to the states four times before? Was it because I had been to Mexico? Was it because I hadn't paid enough tuition in one of their high schools? Was it because my name was too difficult? Was it because the two others were in line in front of me and America was now full? I started to think the best case scenario would be that my passport was "simply" lost in the mail and I would have the honor of getting another passport (and visa) in the two months that are left until the trip. The worst case would be them declining my application. And since - thanks to our odyssey to Frankfurt - they now have my fingerprints on file it would be quite hard to sneak by customs then.

But who would'a thought .. an innocent little envelope with my precious little passport and even more precious little visa was in the mailbox a few days after my call.

And that's it, things settled, I'm going to the Bronx in the summer. Scary.

We'll celebrate tomorrow.

Everyone's doing it ..

.. so sooner or later you get caught in the wake. Like with the cell phone. It was only a matter of time.